“Dear College, I’m confused”
Oh college, how I remember those days. One of the most confusing times of my life. And I speak on "my life" as if I'm 40 or 80 right? Ready for this? I'm 22 years old. Just like everyone, I have a story. But one that I know can help so many people, so many young adults who are feeling the exact same confusion I felt. It's not a story with exact detail, and everything I've experienced mentally and physically...you'd be reading my autobiography. But the message is clear...
I was always really mature. But being really mature from 6th grade to 10th got me really in trouble. I was misunderstood, because I looked at these teachers, these adults and thought "Why are you talking down to me? I'm just like you." I saw myself as an adult, even though I wasn't, to my surprise I still had loads to learn. Mind you, I had good grades, I was a good student...academically speaking. I was smart, really smart. I didn't necessarily get straight A's in my honors classes, but I knew how to manipulate the system in order to make it by, but still look good doing it. It didn't matter to me to have this "unrealistic report card". I felt like those students, who threw themselves into studying for hours for a test on a chapter I KNEW I would never remember, were unrealistic. And it's common sense. We need to learn how to build all kinds of skills. So I did study, for what needed studying. And I would sit right next to the "nerd" who didn't posses my social skills, my life skills, my athletic skills, etc, and get the same exact academic award they did. I wanted to make sure I was good at everything. A little this, a little that. Because I KNEW that that was what was going to allow me to make it one day. But of course I didn't know it as clear as I do now, but I still possessed the vision. We learn more and more about ourselves as we experience different things. So 11th grade came, and I was a lot more focused. I felt change. I remained the same academically. Picked up AP courses making my schedule say AP or Honors next to every class. My behavior improved dramatically.
Now let's skip to graduation. I didn't make applying to college rocket science. I had the grades, Florida Bright Futures scholarship, heck I'll just apply to the schools in Florida, take advantage of my scholarship and figure it out from there. I had no other options, though I knew I did not want to go to college. But how easy was it for me? I had a school to go and a class schedule to follow, why not? I will always take full advantage of what's available to me NOW, until a better opportunity comes around. And so college life began....
The second I finished my first day of classes, I knew I didn't like college. But again I had no options. Soooo I rolled with the punches. I was doing positive, I was being productive. I did the tests, I wrote the papers, I attended the lectures. I made sure that I learned something from everything in that environment (it obviously wasn't the material, we don't remember the material the first two years of college and being I am very realistic, I knew this). I didn't drown myself into worry over assignments, I took advantage of my surrounding. I learned how schools operate, how they generate revenue, I looked around campus for product placement. I wanted to understand BIGGER things..not the topic I was given to write about for the paper due tomorrow. I wanted to see how a college maintains itself, hires staff, can offer scholarships, etc. These are the things that were going through my mind.
Skip to my first full completed year of college. I was unhappy. And not the unhappy I had always felt with college. I'm talking deep unhappiness. With my life...with myself. I knew I hated my surrounding. And so I thought, "Well I have NO other options, so I'll stay in school. But let me check out another college perhaps. Yeah, that can probably solve my unhappiness". So I applied to FIU, figured it wasn't a college town, still in Florida, hey why not? 3 weeks later I was in Miami, ready to start my fall semester.
Chelsea Martinez
http://www.thechelseamartinez.com
Part 2 in next issue.
Disclaimer: The views shared within this article are not necessarily those of The College Essential or its affiliates.